Jokes

[Len]

There's this drunk standing out on the street corner, and a cop passes by, and says, "What do you think you're doing?" The drunk says, "I heard the world goes around every 24 hours, and I'm waiting on my house. Won't be long now, there goes my neighbour."

[Frank]

A big Texan stopped at a local restaurant following a day roaming around in Mexico.

While sipping his tequila, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful.

He asked the waiter, 'What is that you just served?'

The waiter replied, 'Ah senor, you have excellent taste! Those are called Cojones de Toro, bull's testicles from the bull fight this morning. A delicacy!'

The cowboy said, 'What the heck, bring me an order.'

The waiter replied, 'I am so sorry senor. There is only one serving per day because there is only one bull fight each morning. If you come early and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy.'

The next morning, the cowboy returned, placed his order, and that evening was served the one and only special delicacy of the day. After a few bites, inspecting his platter, he called to the waiter and said, 'These are delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday.'

The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, 'Si, Senor.

Sometimes the bull wins.

[valelli]

lol very funny frank

[ido]

(07-15-2011 12:18 AM)Frank Wrote:  Sometimes the bull wins.

Hi Frank,
brilliant choise as ever,I liked it very much

[Frank]

I thought you would want to know about this e-mail virus. Even the most advanced programs from Norton or McAfee cannot take care of this one. It appears to affect those who were born prior to 1960 .

Symptoms:

1.. Causes you to send the same e-mail twice. Done that!

2. Causes you to send a blank e-mail ! That too!

3. Causes you to send e-mail to the wrong person..yep!

4. Causes you to send it back to the person who sent it to you. Aha!

5. Causes you to forget to attach the attachment. Well darn!

6. Causes you to hit "SEND" before you've finished. Oh, no not again!

7. Causes you to hit "DELETE" instead of "SEND.." And I just hate that!

8. Causes you to hit "SEND" when you should "DELETE." Oh No!

IT IS CALLED THE "C-NILE VIRUS."

Hmmm.....Have I already sent this to you, or did you send it to me

[ido]

Hi Frank,
great joke but sounds very skaring !

Maybe due to I was born after 1960 (but not too after enough ) I can be considered still sane but already positive
to that vyrus

(08-10-2011 11:22 PM)Frank Wrote:  I thought you would want to know about this e-mail virus. Even the most advanced programs from Norton or McAfee cannot take care of this one. It appears to affect those who were born prior to 1960 .

Symptoms:

1.. Causes you to send the same e-mail twice. Done that!


- never

2. Causes you to send a blank e-mail ! That too!

Because I'd to manage often a foreign languages I preffer to create the texts on word files ,happenned often to miss saving but....

3. Causes you to send e-mail to the wrong person..yep!


-never

4. Causes you to send it back to the person who sent it to you. Aha!


-never

5. Causes you to forget to attach the attachment. Well darn!

Oh my Good ,this is my nigtmare ,happen more than in 50% of the cases,
every time have to ree-mail with my scuses.
Some my friends klaim they ever wait a bit before reading my mails when
without attachments

6. Causes you to hit "SEND" before you've finished. Oh, no not again!

--see item 2

7. Causes you to hit "DELETE" instead of "SEND.." And I just hate that!


-never

8. Causes you to hit "SEND" when you should "DELETE." Oh No!


-had some realy rare incidents

IT IS CALLED THE "C-NILE VIRUS."

Hmmm.....Have I already sent this to you, or did you send it to me

In conclusion seems that I have to wait a bit more before becoming
"C-NILE VIRUSsed."

[Frank]

[valelli]

marvelous lol

[ido]

Plea To Scour Rubbish For Wife's 32k Jewels


This australian news is as good as a good joke may be,
the read of the comments as well:

http://news.sky.com/home/strange-news/article/16059270


..."The landfill receives 1,400 tonnes of rubbish a week....""

[ido]

Two elderly sisters are arguing in court over the rights
to a half million dollar winning lottery ticket.

I'd always thought that betting's not allowed for nuns....

__________________________________


A lottery ticket purchased at a porn shop in Detroit has
won a group of friends $129 million. Wow, 129 Million?

I know that crime doesn't pay, but porn sure seems to.....


__________________________________


A guy at the end of my street sleeps in his car...
He bought a lottery ticket and won $100,000...he still sleeps
in his car, only now it has heated leather seats.