Jokes

[ecneps]

Hi
A man walked into a psychiatrist's office witha pancake on his head ,A fried egg on each shoulder and a piece of bacon over each ear
"What seems to be the problem?" asked the psychiatrist.The man said "I'm worried about my brother".

A patient told his doctor " these pills you gave are great,but the problem is ,They make me walk like a crab "yes" said the doctor 'those will be the side effects'.

A woman with fourteen children ,aged between one and fourteen decided to sue her husband for divorce on grounds of desertion
"When did he desert you?",Asked the judge "Thirteen years ago" she answered ,The jude was baffled.If he left thirteen years ago,were did all the children come from
"He kept coming back to say he was sorry"

A balding man went into a barber's shop,and asked how much it would be for a haircut "Twenty five pounds" said the barber
"Twenty five pounds, thats outrageous" said the man, "I've hardly got any hair ,How can it be that expensive?"
The barber explained "It's five pounds for the actual cut,and twenty pounds for the search fee".

A policeman stopped a drunk wandering through the streets at five o'clock in the morning,The policeman said " Can you explain why you are out at this hour?" The drunk replied " If I could I'd be home by now!".

A man walked into a doctor's office with a lettuce leaf sticking out of his ear,The doctor said "Hmmmmm ,thats strange ,The man said "That's just the tip of the iceburg!"

HEALTH IS MERELY THE SLOWEST POSSIBLE RATE AT WHICH A PERSON CAN DIE

A father said "Would you like any help with your homework son?" 'No thanks, I'd rather get it wrong by myself'