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Jokes
23-09-2009, 02:32 PM (This post was last modified: 14-05-2014 06:31 PM by Len.)
Post: #21
RE: Jokes
A man owned a small farm in Scotland .

The Inland Revenue claimed he was not paying proper wages to his staff and sent a representative out to interview him.

'I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them,' demanded the rep..

'Well,' replied the farmer, 'there's my farm hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him
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23-09-2009, 02:42 PM
Post: #22
RE: Jokes
[quote='Frank' pid='2336' dateline='1253712760']
A man owned a small farm in Scotland .

The Inland Revenue claimed he was not paying proper wages to his staff and sent a representative out to interview him.

'I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them,' demanded the rep..

'Well,' replied the farmer, 'there's my farm hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him
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23-09-2009, 04:01 PM (This post was last modified: 14-05-2014 06:31 PM by Len.)
Post: #23
RE: Jokes
[quote='Frank' pid='2336' dateline='1253712760']
He makes about
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13-02-2010, 02:16 PM
Post: #24
RE: Jokes
For several years, a man had been having an affair with an Italian woman.

One night, she confided to him that she was pregnant.

Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go back to Italy to secretly have the child.

Also, if she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would provide child support until the child turned 18.

She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born.

To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write 'Spaghetti' on the back when the child was born.

He would then arrange for the Child Support Payments to begin.

One day, about 8 months later, he came home to his confused wife.

'Honey,' she said, 'You received a very strange post card today.'

'Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later,' he said.

The wife obeyed and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted.

On the card was written: Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti.

Three with meatballs, two without. Send extra sauce.
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13-02-2010, 02:20 PM
Post: #25
RE: Jokes
very good frank, wonder if a certain footballer is glad that didnt happen to him!!
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13-02-2010, 02:35 PM
Post: #26
RE: Jokes
(13-02-2010 02:20 PM)valelli Wrote:  very good frank, wonder if a certain footballer is glad that didnt happen to him!!

Or a certain golfer.....
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13-02-2010, 03:28 PM
Post: #27
RE: Jokes
yes they are all at it arent they!! and they are supposed to be role models, makes you wonder, especially when they get away with it, especially I think those that have been caught taking drugs and nothing happens to them, its no wonder that they think they can get away with anything.
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30-08-2010, 02:20 PM
Post: #28
RE: Jokes
Cruise ship diary..............


DEAR DIARY - DAY 1

All packed for the cruise ship -- all my nicest dresses, swimsuits, short sets. Really, really exciting.
Our local Red Hat chapter decided on this "all-girls" trip.
It will be my first one, - and I can't wait!

--------------------------------------------------------------
DEAR DIARY - DAY 2

Entire day at sea, beautiful. Saw whales and dolphins. Met the Captain today -- seems like a very nice man.

--------------------------------------------------------------
DEAR DIARY - DAY 3

At the pool today. Did some shuffleboard, hit golf balls off the deck. Captain invited me to join him at his table for dinner. Felt honored and had a wonderful time. He is very attractive and attentive.
----------------------------------------------------------
DEAR DIARY - DAY 4

Won $800.00 in the ship's casino. Captain asked me to have dinner with him in his own cabin. Had a scrumptious meal complete with caviar and champagne. He asked me to stay the night, but I declined. Told him I could not be unfaithful to my husband.

--------------------------------------------------------------
DEAR DIARY - DAY 5

Pool again today. Got sunburned, and I went inside to drink at piano-bar, stayed there for rest of day. Captain saw me, bought me several large drinks.
Really is quite charming. Again asked me to visit his cabin for the night. Again I declined. He told me, if I did not let him have his way with me, he would sink the ship... I was shocked.

--------------------------------------------------------------
DEAR DIARY - DAY 6

Today I saved 1600 lives.
Twice.
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30-08-2010, 03:49 PM
Post: #29
RE: Jokes
(30-08-2010 02:20 PM)Frank Wrote:  Cruise ship diary..............


DEAR DIARY - DAY 1

All packed for the cruise ship -- all my nicest dresses, swimsuits, short sets. Really, really exciting.
Our local Red Hat chapter decided on this "all-girls" trip.
It will be my first one, - and I can't wait!

--------------------------------------------------------------
DEAR DIARY - DAY 2

Entire day at sea, beautiful. Saw whales and dolphins. Met the Captain today -- seems like a very nice man.

--------------------------------------------------------------
DEAR DIARY - DAY 3

At the pool today. Did some shuffleboard, hit golf balls off the deck. Captain invited me to join him at his table for dinner. Felt honored and had a wonderful time. He is very attractive and attentive.
----------------------------------------------------------
DEAR DIARY - DAY 4

Won $800.00 in the ship's casino. Captain asked me to have dinner with him in his own cabin. Had a scrumptious meal complete with caviar and champagne. He asked me to stay the night, but I declined. Told him I could not be unfaithful to my husband.

--------------------------------------------------------------
DEAR DIARY - DAY 5

Pool again today. Got sunburned, and I went inside to drink at piano-bar, stayed there for rest of day. Captain saw me, bought me several large drinks.
Really is quite charming. Again asked me to visit his cabin for the night. Again I declined. He told me, if I did not let him have his way with me, he would sink the ship... I was shocked.

--------------------------------------------------------------
DEAR DIARY - DAY 6

Today I saved 1600 lives.
Twice.

I like it....
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30-08-2010, 05:30 PM
Post: #30
RE: Jokes
(30-08-2010 02:20 PM)Frank Wrote:  Again I declined. He told me, if I did not let him have his way with me, he would sink the ship... I was shocked.

--------------------------------------------------------------
DEAR DIARY - DAY 6

Today I saved 1600 lives.
Twice.
Eccelent!I've read it ...twice.Rotflol
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